Alien Bones

'tis cold here in Cape White Whale in winter. Winter freezes the sea so stiff you could walk to Greenland. Don’t see why you’d bother though, since the “Liquid Hygge” only opens in the summer. Canada's a stone's throw away down Nowhere Road—past the 'Cut Your Hair' salon and the 'Almost Canada' Inn. Not that it's much different from this part of Alaska, but there you have it.

So as I said, the three young fellas up above, that's Alien Bones. They ain’t kin or anything, but I’m the one who helped ‘em pick that name. Years ago, I came across this skull with wires and tiny lights, all mixed up with bones. Looked like it had horns or maybe antennas—probably antennas, and there was this beautiful blue flower growing on top. Found it up in the mountains by Anaktuvuk Pass. Meant to go back for it but my brain ain’t what it used to be. Those boys just laugh, think old Mud’s lost his marbles. Guess we’ll see who gets the last laugh.

So, Alien Bones are Bud, Alec and Dany. 

Bud’s local, the tallest fellah with long hair, plays the drums. His grand-granddad busted out of a gulag and braved the Strait in a kayak. So if you talk to Bud, don't talk about communism and dictators or such like, unless you wanna trigger the guy real bad. He's mostly okay ‘cept when he’s drinking. I keep telling him, watch it or you'll end up like your uncle, you stubborn mule. He sticks around for the girls, we’ve got some nice girls here, and the surf. Crazy about it—rides waves taller than your house, in freezing water.

Alec’s the one with the glasses. He's the smart one, but too buttoned-up. Kid’s doing some fancy feces on space travel or such like, by mail with UAF. Says he's becoming a doctor, but not the kind that helps when you're bleeding. Real sharp with numbers, though—had some run-ins with Vegas types over his gambling tricks. That drove him to pack up and chill out here in Cape White Whale. A good kid, plays the bass.

Then there's Dany, the guitarist. Good kid, but can rub you the wrong way. Smart with computers. Got into some hot water hacking for the cops back in the Philippines—helped catch some bad pedo sorts. They didn't take kindly to all that, claimed that Dany had lifted their bitcoins and such like, swore to cut his dick off. Dany, the idiot, got tangled up with the anti-pedo cop’s daughter too, and he - the cop fella - also swore to cut his dick off. Double jeopardy, using the fancy legal speak. So he hightailed it to lay low here.

So that's Alien Bones, who make all that racket and noise. Enjoy!

Thanks for readin'. 

// Mud Klinkhart, Cape White Whale, AK 99951, December 2024